i need you, by my side
by BSnows
Summary: "Baby, you know that I'm far too cool to let you see me upset or see me feeling blue, (...) But I was scared to let you know I need you, by my side." or Clexa angst/fluff inspired by Eliza Taylor's original song performed today (07.17.2016) at DDCon, Brazil.


Clarke looks at the ceiling of the bedroom for a moment, trying her best to avoid thinking about Lexa and the previous fight they had that had resulted in Lexa getting out of the bedroom and closing the door behind her very, very hard.

Clarke didn't even try to follow her because she knows Lexa's coming back to their bedroom eventually to dramatically apologize her, even though the fight wasn't her fault and she's actually still very hurt.

Except this time, Lexa's taking too long to show up.

 _I'm an asshole._

Clarke sits on the gigantic bed and sighs. But then, her eyes catch the rustic acoustic guitar that she had made on top of a chair in the middle of the bedroom, right next to her easel.

Clarke's heart smiles.

She remembers the time she earned her first acoustic guitar in the Ark. She remembers, with a lost smile on her face, spending nights talking about the Earth with her father until one time he mentioned that the father of the father of his grandfather was a famous musician on the Earth and, of course, little Clarke got obsessed about it. She was determined to learn how to play guitar to make her father proud.

 _"Hey, kiddo_ ," he said a couple of months later that talk. " _I got you a present."_

And it was nothing more than a handmade acoustic guitar.

" _Dad!_ ", she exclaimed at the instrument in her father's hands. " _Dad, it's a guitar!_ "

He smiled so big, she remembers.

" _Music is important, Clarke,_ " he said. _"It is what your feelings sound like._ "

* * *

Lexa is only a few inches from her bedroom door and her heart feels heavy. She puts her hand on the door handle, but then she hesitates and puts her hand down again. She looks up and takes a deep breath, cursing herself internally for missing Clarke too much.

"Heda," Tristan, the guard that stands by her door, notices Lexa's strange behavior. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine," she lies and straightens the posture of her back. She looks at him, her face devoided of expression. "You should take a break, Tristan. It's late, you should rest."

Lexa's eyes look puffy and her voice sounds extremely sad, even though she's trying to act like nothing is actually wrong. Tristan presumes it has something to do with Clarke. Heda never cries for anything but her.

"Yes, Heda," he nods. "I'll come back when the sun comes out."

Lexa watches her guard leave, knowing she did a terrible job at hiding her feelings. She tries to swallow the lump that insists on staying in her throat and gets her attention back to the door.

Only now she notices there's a sound coming from it.

It's an acoustic guitar, she reckons.

She carefully takes a step closer and presses her ear against the door.

Her eyes widen and her heart stops beating for a moment when she hears Clarke's husky singing voice.

 _"Baby, you know that I'm far too cool to let you see me upset,_  
 _Or see me feeling blue._  
 _Well, I'm not that wise so,_  
 _I keep it inside._  
 _This distance is taxing,_  
 _I can't relax."_

Lexa puts her open hands on the door, trying her best to listen to it better.

 _"So I take a walk outside,_  
 _And I look at the world through my sad eyes_  
 _I should have called you on the phone..."_

Lexa frowns at the word "phone" and tries to remember what Clarke meant, but then the next lines got too much of her attention.

 _"But I was scared to let you know_  
 _I need you,_  
 _By my side."_

Lexa needs to take a deep breath again. Although her hands are shaking and her heart is pounding so hard it could give her a heart attack, she finally opens the door, slowly, to find Clarke standing next to the door, humming and playing the instrument she had made all by herself.

"I need _you_ ," Clarke repeats. "By my side."

Lexa closes the door behind her and avoids blinking because it could make a stubborn tear drop from her eyes.

"Hi," Clarke says and stares at Lexa.

Lexa swallows. She closes her eyes and shakes her head in a negative way as if she was disapproving herself for not being able to respond without her voice breaking. She opens her eyes to find Clarke's empathy gaze on her.

"You knew I was by the door," Lexa manages to say.

"I did."

Lexa nods and sighs heavily.

"You did."

Clarke frowns and a moment of silence happens until Clarke puts her guitar down and snorts to herself.

"I'm sorry," Clarke says as she leans her guitar against the wall by the wall next the door. "I didn't mean to be dramatic. I should have left the drama part only with you."

Lexa struggles to not follow Clarke's movements with her eyes, but she's happy that Clarke can't see her trying her best to not give a lopsided smile at the moment.

"I- You have a wonderful singing voice, I couldn't do that," Lexa says and makes a pause. "This was a very beautiful song."

Clarke smiles. She takes Lexa's hand and interlaces their fingers together.

Lexa observes their hands together and sighs.

"My father once told me that music is what our feelings sound like."

Lexa ironically laughs through her nose. "Your feelings sound sad."

Clarke chuckles.

"My feelings sound sad," she repeats and pulls Lexa by the hand a little bit closer. "Because I need you. And I made your heart hurt."

Lexa looks at Clarke's lips for a moment before she looks at her ocean eyes again.

"I'm sorry," Clarke says.

Lexa nods.

"It's ok," she says.

"Ok?" Clarke pulls Lexa even closer in a way she could press their lips together in a soft kiss.

"Ok," Lexa repeats, except now she has a bright smile on her face.

Clarke smiles.

She had learned the lesson.

She's never mentioning Niylah ever again.

* * *

 ** _HI GUYS! Hope there aren't many grammar mistakes (I'm not a native speaker) and hope you're enjoying this fic. I'll let my_** tumblr ** _here (loupagneau) for you guys to follow if you want to. I post my fics there and I reblog mostly_** clexa ** _and random stuff. Lots of love! X_**


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